connection

noun

The act of connecting, (to join, link, or fasten together; unite or bind) or the state of being connected; junction; union; alliance; relationship.


Connections. During this time of year we are inundated with the images of families connected, spending time laughing and decorating and baking together, and enjoying the company of being with one another. It's homey, it's inspiring . . . and for some of us, it's quite difficult to swallow. It's not the idea of having these connections that is difficult, it's the pragmatism involved for many families who have experienced divorce that make the whole idea of a family together enjoying the holidays tough, and logistically impossible. Ideally, and gratefully, the connections never fade away . . . the emotional attachment will always exist, despite the memories and changes in the structure of the holiday. But the need to have that connection be valued during this time, despite the crazy schedules and various choices that have to be made, (when will we see Mom? who is staying where? where will we spend Christmas Eve? what about Christmas?) can place an unfair burden on those involved in the immediacy of the relationship. We all know that we love each other, but inevitably someone feels left out, regardless of the overall strength of the connections. For this reason alone, the holidays are not my favorite time of the year . . . and you'd think I would have found better coping skills by now! But the holiday will pass, as it has in the past, and, thank goodness, the strength of the connections allow for a seamless transition into whatever is next on the agenda life gives us.

Over the years, the value of connections with my friends and my family-of-choice has ranked tremendously high for me. I will always consider my connections with my children to be of the highest value, of course, but my children are grown and gone, and on a daily basis it is the connections with my friends that have become vitally important. This is especially true for me as a single woman. Because when I come home at night, it's just me and the fat-cat . . . and there's not too much two-way conversation going on there! I, personally, have a need to feel connected to other adults . . . to interact and discuss and debate and listen . . . to offer encouragement and to accept theirs . . . to know that I matter to others in this world. Having those connections remind me that there isn't a need, nor the time, for self-pity and the all-to-easy "whoa-is-me" behavior. Thank goodness for these connections, for with one short conversation or over the course of a dinner together, I'm reminded just how important these connections are, and I then resolve to make sure I don't take them for granted or let them wither away.

In everyday life, it's my connections with my students that I also place high value in. I have always believed that my students will make more gains, find more success, and strive to reach higher levels because of the relationships I build with them right from the start of the year. For some of these kids, they haven't really known a connection to a teacher like this before, of which I am amazed. I don't know how not to have a strong connection with them! But this connection serves to support them, encourage them, and give them the understanding that someone (other than their parents whom they believe "have to love" them) wants to see them make accomplishments in this year, and in the future. And I love that these connections continue as the students progress and grow. I have a Facebook account that attests to these connections . . . so many former students are in contact through this account, and we catch up and continue on with where we last left off. I also have developed and maintained email relationships with former parents-of-students, which have grown into true friendships. I am so grateful for all of these experiences . . . and that through these connections my life has been further enhanced. It's a great by-product of doing what comes naturally to me as a teacher.

My greatest connections, by far, have been the blessings called my kids. I will never, never, never take these relationships for granted, as they have literally saved me on numerous occasions. The fluidity with which these connections change and flow between each of us, both individually and as a family, is quite wondrous. Each new step in their lives brings another dimension to the connection that hasn't existed to this point, sometimes requiring some adjustment, but always growing in appreciation. I often find myself in awe of who they have become . . . and I'm honored that God saw me fit to be the first connection in their lives . . . and one that will never die.

But it has been through some introspective thinking recently that I've discovered, or perhaps re-discovered, the connection I have with myself. Despite the tumultuous and sometimes chaotic turns my life has taken, I have begun to refocus and remember that I'm the product of the choices that have led me down those turns, and that I don't have to choose those directions again. I've learned from them . . . and I can both celebrate and forgive myself for them. In the process, my heart has reconnected with my head, reminding me that I am deserving of all of the good that life has to offer, now and in the future. I just have to keep that pivotal connection alive and prominent in my thinking.

Connections. The blessings of being in alliance with, tied to, in union with my family and friends and self . . . I am one of the luckiest people on earth with, and because of, my connections.